my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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