Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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