May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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