Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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