They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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