my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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