I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
