3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
