Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
