Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
