the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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