Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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