I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
