the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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