You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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