K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
