I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
