hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
