i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
