He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
