Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
