Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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