we made out on top of his cat.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
