I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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