think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize