***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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