i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Randomize
