remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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