I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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