You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize