He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
