Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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