I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
