Plan B is the new Plan A
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Barsexuality is the new black.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
