I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
