So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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