fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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