the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
