I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
