Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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