how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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