Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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