you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
i believe in u and ur pee
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
