I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This is the high leading the old right now
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
