I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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