My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
