Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
