hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
