I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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