You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
