Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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