White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize