Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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