I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
