So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
so much tequila, so little girl.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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