i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize