Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
