lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
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