What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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